Almost all my life I’ve absolutely despised children. Pretty much from the moment I stopped being a child I’ve hated being around children.

It doesn’t even matter what the child is doing. Whether they’re laughing and having fun or screaming and throwing a tantrum. The sound of a child being loud activates an almost primal rage that I can barely contain.

I’ve had to leave social gatherings/restaurants/grocery stores all because if I’d stayed I’d have made a complete ass of myself by screaming at a child just for existing.

It’s even worse with infants which makes me feel horrible because I know they can’t help it. I know the kids don’t know any better and it’s our job as adults to get them through childhood, but my blood boils when they get loud or demand attention.

Has anyone else dealt with something like this? Is there anything I can do to stop from getting so angry?

  • Trollivier@sh.itjust.works
    1·
    11 months ago

    I was a little like that until I had a kid myself. Much less than you perhaps, but I didn’t have fun with kids, I never knew what to do, what to tell them, and I would be very unforgiving with kids who are cheating or lying for fun.

    I always thought that when you have one, yours is different.

    When i meet my soulmate, I knew she would be an awesome mother and it helped me retain some faith. We ended up having a boy who is now 4 and a half.

    I must admit, I didn’t know I had this much patience in me. Still not knowing what the hell I’m doing but I lowered the bar as much as I could : he’s happy, and he’s fed.

    Now it’s not always easy, and he tests my limits daily by pushing all the proper buttons. Sometimes I ask my girlfriend for an… Emergency relief.

    But now I kinda understand how to enter children’s world. Doesn’t work with all of them, and sometimes I must adapt. I still have a hard time tolerating crying over nothing serious, but I found ways to go around that and give hugs.

    I try to remind myself of old memories when I did some very similar things with I was a kid, sometimes I’m not very proud…

    All in all, I’m not telling to have kids, but just to say it can change. I just happened to have taken the “hard way”, and I didn’t regret any of it.