Yeah. Thought posting this to no stupid questions would be OK. No luck.

Yep. I’m grateful for the people who choose this work. Sucks they’re constantly overworked, under paid, such a frustrating often thankless job. I try to remind them, hey rough job, but you’ve made a difference for me, so ty.

I text him. Ask him to tell doctor to fax insurance approval to pharmacy. Instead of doing that, he spends the next 3 hours sending me a series of texts criticizing me, telling me it’s my fault, not his, repeatedly pointing out, trying to get me to admit how irrational I was being.

All I’d said was “at the pharmacy. Can you tell the doctor to resend the insurance approval please?”

It’s not emotional, social. It’s mostly text communication. Like, “I’ll meet you at the front gate 215pm.” Female cm, we meet at the front gate 215pm. Male cm, 15 min later, im still waiting, then angry text from him saying he’s waiting somewhere else.

Ty for your objective response, btw.

Thank you. As woman with autism, it’s weird. Women nts, some tend to unconsciously expect me to behave like a woman. They operate with stereotypes, assume women should be emotional, touchy feely, into romantic comedies, etc. So when I’m logical, to the point, talk about math, science, some can’t compute. And some guys, they expect me to behave as a stereotypical female, treat me as such. Then they realize I’m not, am logical, etc, and their demeanor changes, start treating me as one of the guys.

I’ve met compassionate, emotional men, and analytical nerdy women. Just, so weird, how gender becomes such a big deal for some.

Been thinking about how quantum physics are connected to chaos theory and the properties of closed dynamic systems.

Will spare you that. Part of it is the human mind doesn’t have the processing of all configurations, all the possible states of an entire systems, simultaneously.

Humans do have abstract thought, critical thinking. We can observe, record data, notice patterns, trends. By chaos theory, humans discovered they could write math equations to describe the behavior of complex systems. With quantum physics, humans trying to figure out how localized realities in a system related to the behavior of system as a whole.

We use scientific method because we can’t comprehend the infinite. Math equations are shorthand, a trick we use to make up for our shortcomings. Science and math is awesome.

I have central auditory processing disorder, capd. Seeing a visual is instantaneous, clear, easy. People speaking is torturous, brain can’t process, requires lot of work, confusion, translating. For me, visuals are external, but even external sounds become internal, physical. Activation of the limbic system, anxiety, fear, can lead to hearing voices. Prefrontal cortex, I think, is where brain stops internalizing sound as stress, fear. Why some people with adhd who hear voices take a small, mild dose of Ritalin at night. Ritalin means less limbic, less fear.

Not an answer to your question, but I think different areas of the brain process sound, visuals. Different mechanisms. I’d be interested to know if someone could shed light on this.

I used to drink cold bottles of beer while showering. Very doable.

Bubble bobble

Castlevania

Metroid prime

Also as a kid remember playing some old school ghostbusters game that consisted of mashing a button over and over as quickly as possible.

Get bored with games SO quickly. Part of how to keep interest is figuring out on my own how the game works. And I can, on my own, figure out games, software, very quickly.

Too many phone games try to make you sit thru insufferable tedious tutorials. So you’re not only depriving me the chance to figure out on my own, you’re also insulting my intelligence. Any game does this, instant uninstall.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sluggish_schizophrenia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_abuse_of_psychiatry_in_the_Soviet_Union

Those 2 articles are a start.

If ghosts are real… then every living thing, cockroach, dogs, fish, fleas, birds, they get ghosts too, billions upon billions of ghosts flooding, saturating the universe.

Yesterday, browsing wikipedia, stumbled on articles that talked about this very thing, on how Russia took advantage of mental health systems. They started to classify nonconforming, rebels as mentally ill. A frequently used diagnosis was sluggish schizophrenia. Anyone who was socially awkward, thought differently got this diagnosis. Cuz if someone is questioning our government, they must be sick in the head

They used this heavily for decades to discredit political rivals, forcible confinement, lock them away, work camps. Think gulag archipelago.

I tend to hyperfixate. So I got into habit of getting up every 3 hours, going outside, walk around block. I will say to self, get up, right now, out of this chair, outside, now. Been doing this so long now, it’s become habit, part of daily routine. Has helped a lot.

I’m struggling with that. My red, orange, blue oil pastels are running out. But have a bunch of brown, grey hues left. So forcing me to adapt. Also, was struggling to figure out how to add layering, depth, large areas of white space. But just one tiny white oil pastel. That forced me to experiment with using gesso as a medium. Initially, just to more cheaply add more white space. But realized gesso is amazing, can be sculpted, if you sculpt patterns, or carve lines into gesso, let it dry… when you lightly run oil pastel over the dried gesso…

Poverty, limited means can be useful. Necessity breeds adaptation.

On SSI right now. My art has exploded recently because I have a lot of time. Every day, at least one complete piece. Still pretty poor, struggling financially. But oil pastels, gesso, baby oil, cotton balls, piece of plastic… because free time, I’m excitedly experimenting, create pieces deeply layered, sculptural. Was never possible when employed.

Yesterday, I finally decided to cut ties with reddit, except for targeted web searches. First it was the constant attempts to force me to download their app. Then denying me access to certain posts and subreddits cuz I wouldn’t. Then the API debacle. Then few days ago, significant redesign that wasn’t for usability, but for money,. Corporate greed. Used to spend hours on reddit, but past few weeks, there’s hardly any worthwhile content. One has to be careful what one gets used to. Grateful I discovered lemmy yesterday.