dolphin

I saw mommy kissing santa clause

Please tell this to my dead car battery. It was killed by the tiny dome light last night, because I forgot to turn it off.

I’m not. And don’t call me Shirley.

I don’t know if this will work for you. Every night I close my eyes and picture a clock with the time I want to wake. Then I tell myself the time I want to wake up.

Truck-kun strikes again

🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️🪨🍆🍌

I want to send a string of emojis so offensive, it chases all the Puritans off of Plymouth Rock

Wow! Those claws

That’s why they moan a lot. The ooooohhhooo is from the other end

Tropical fruit, so I can relive my trip to Thailand

The ninja has sexy eyes

Snitches get riches