I looked at my paycheck (US) vs. one of our Swedish colleagues when I was doing our payroll, and yes, the tax was about 45%, my federal withholding is much less but once you add in the deductions for 401k (unsecured pension scheme) and health insurance (that doesn’t cover anything except annual wellness until we pay in 8,000 USD) and social security (the fed pension being paid now to old people, and their healthcare) my deductions also leave about 55% of my pay for net pay.

The part I object to most in terms of cost here is the healthcare - my deductions may mirror the Swede but I don’t think they also have to cover the first 8k of cost out of pocket.

(Edit - it was Sweden not Denmark)

I don’t mind really, just wish it was used for more things that helped society. And it needs to be a little more progressive, though it is the most progressive of the taxes we have here.

My ex MIL, who literally used WIC and welfare when she was a single mom, and leveraged that into a nursing degree, rails against welfare now and doesn’t want her taxes going to that, doesn’t want to pay. Not even in a pull the ladder up after herself way, she just refuses to admit she benefited from it.

I don’t get this. Not even high school girls find high school boys attractive. How could a grown woman? And what’s with the language, the word is raped or sexually abused/assaulted, 16 year old here is assumed unable to consent to sex with any adult.

It does feel like going out in underwear, to a place where everyone is in underwear, and the people wearing full clothing look out of place. I don’t even have a perfect body but grew up near the beach, saw every possible body type in swimwear. So I am comfortable enough looking near naked in public, since everyone is. It’s nice.

My kids call me Mom, step kids call me by my first name.

Oh and sometimes mama, in Spanish.

You know, when I got my current job, the people in my department said"we tried to find your Facebook but couldn’t" and I said 'yeah that’s because I don’t have one."

13 years later, still don’t.

Though honestly even our work teams chat would probably be too spicy for these motherfuckers. They just want a pretext to keep out anybody. Like some law impossible to follow, that they can selectively enforce.

I don’t think a family of 4 with 100k gross is buying a car a year. Even my legit rich FIL gets one every 3 years or so. Though he doesn’t play at trying to make them run forever like we do. Even having enough now to pay for maintaining an older one (11) feels so luxurious to me compared to my past.

Not arguing with anything but your numbers. Gross pay is not net pay. My net is 60% of my gross with family health insurance taken out , and taxes (but mostly health insurance).

So that could be closer to 5k a month, let’s say 6 to be generous. Rent here for anything that will fit a family is close to 3k. Another thousand on top for student loans, then electric bill, car insurance or transit $, more people means more food, I can see it might be tight.

Still not anything to really complain about money wise but legit IMO to complain about student loans in general. Education from K through university or trade school needs to be free for students, the economy would work better.

I think people do not recognize the immense value of weak interpersonal bonds, like going to the same corner store all the time. But they are the glue that holds society together. It’s not the deep friendships, you can only have a few of those. It’s those people you are acquainted with, and look forward to seeing, people you wave to, all those little connections add up.

You know, I think cesarean is overused but the reason it is used is because previously if the baby couldn’t get out, they had to smash the skull and pull out the body and hope the mother survived. What the actual fuck? The midwife did have to reach inside me to fix the position of one of mine and unstick the cord, which was horrifying enough, but how can a doctor not do that if she can? I have a relative with cerebral palsy from a forceps injury too.

And holy shit, someone posted pictures of the body without even asking the parents? Who does that? Have they no shame, no sense?

Local community radio, monthly.

A little towards anything I read or listen to, not often but as I can I do.

Towards disasters if work is doing a fundraiser, we have a charity arm and I know where the money is going as I work in accounting.

Directly to people, again as I can. This is the biggest $ category probably. If I have cash I will give it, don’t think about trying to sort out who “deserves” it, that’s not something I can or will do. Will pick up an extra meal occasionally if there is a homeless person around. And have given space in my house occasionally, though at least once did not when I really should have, there is an occasion I regret not offering that to someones I know - I think it would have helped them get back on their feet much faster but I was worried for my safety (from my ex not the people who needed).

I don’t consider myself generous in light of what I have, but still digging out from being poor myself.

They are not corporeal so why would they care what your body looks like? To them it is just some envelope holding you, right? Your soul I don’t think would have race, or sex, those are embodied things, skin tone being the most superficial of all.

In theory maybe 10 years in either direction (I’m old) but in practice I’ve only had long term relationships with guys within a couple years of my age.

Lovers between times, for whatever reason I always ended up with younger guys, that seemed to be the people into me, but still never more than 10 years difference.

When I was your age? One or two years at most. Absolutely not anyone much older or younger, no.

I was pulled over one for “crooked license plate”, it was a little tilted. Always got pulled over in that car (67 mustang) and kind of figured they just wanted to look at the car. It got ridiculous though.

I don’t understand this either, but if you don’t like plain water, there are ways to make it taste different. Squeezed lemon in water is delicious, fizzy water is nice, there’s always Crystal Light, lol.

I love so many drinks but if I could only have one, iced water is it. It’s the best drink of all and goes with every food.

The circumstances.

If it wasn’t a situation where it was a recurring character trait thing, but one time, unusual circumstances, quickly disclosed, STD tested before we did it again, and if we’d been together a long time first.

Now, having said that - I don’t think infidelity comes out of nowhere, if it’s not a person who just always will cheat, there are usually problems leading to it. So it’s unlikely to work out. But I might be willing to see if it could.

I don’t think you are crazy for not wanting to drive, but don’t think it’s a good idea to quit because of the accident, either. Your dad is right, everyone does get on an accident eventually. I had a very bad one that totalled my car (someone ran a stop sign) and the trauma made me a bad driver for awhile, so watch out for that. But getting back behind the wheel, overcoming your fear and becoming a competent and comfortable driver is a life skill that will help you, even if you decide that you don’t want to have a car. The life skill of getting back in the saddle after a fall (metaphorically speaking) is an even more important life skill. But driving in particular really is helpful - I mostly bike now, but being able to drive well comes in handy at least weekly.

It’s not necessary to take Greenland at all, so there’s no need for a contingency plan. “if necessary” makes no sense.

You are in Dallas? The main redeeming quality of Texas is the music. I wholeheartedly agree with this suggestion.

Also going out to the same places at the same time can pay off, you will make acquaintances and some may become friends. I see a group of old guys at the cafe I go to for coffee, pretty sure they are only friends because they go get breakfast at the Cuban place and ended up talking and sitting together.

I will say though, almost all my friends I met as adult came from work or from them going out with someone in my family. The medium level friends you are probably looking for. Do you not have work?

Slash it by what? My kids got the same $ amount I did, back when I went to college when they were little. For me, it covered tuition and some of the books, for them about 1/10th of the tuition. It’s already slashed.