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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 18th, 2023

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  • This is already said, but it cannot be too emphasized: This is not your fault. This is entirely on them. Three months is far too short to evaluate someone even if they were secretly unhappy with your performance. It might be worth talking to an employment lawyer, but likely you’ll have to take this on the chin. In the immortal words of the great Captain Picard: “It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.”

    As everyone has said, you can expect to get questions about it, and I would definitely have a prepared, rehearsed statement. Some recruiters and hiring managers make a big deal about these sort of things, some won’t even care. Again: this is not your fault and do not be apologetic about it.

    Five weeks is not a lot of time to get a new software job, even in a hot market. This is the unfortunate reality and I would start making contingency plans. If living in NYC remains a goal, then this is a setback but a far smaller one than it may seem right now. You don’t have a mortgage or a family hanging over your head. Moving back to NYC will be in play, likely sooner than you think.

    Spending time on career development is a good idea. Something with a firm outcome like AWS Solutions Architect is also good. I have the associate certification which I started working on while at Amazon. It hasn’t really done much for me, but I’m not seeking positions where it would hold much weight.


  • If you haven’t I recommend reading a few books on management even if you have zero interest in going down that path. It will give you more perspective on what you should be expecting from your manager, which in turn should in turn be what you talk about during 1-on-1s. I like The Manager’s Path by Camille Fournier, though it could use more focus on the ‘why’ instead of the ‘how’.

    The best manager I had used a shared private document, where he would dump important points and expected you to add bullets as things came up during the week. This “you drive the conversation” is a good approach and one I intend to use in the future.

    • What’s really going on. A good manager should be aware people are inclined to present things as rosier than they are.

    • Anything you are unhappy with. They should be fighting to keep you around, and how happy you are is a key piece. The sooner they know something is wrong, the easier they can (potentially) deal with it.

      • I’m planning a career shift into an EM role, and plan on simply being upfront about the Gallup 12 points (actually 13+4). They shouldn’t confine themselves to them, but if a report is ever unhappy about any of them then I absolutely want to talk about it.
    • What resources you don’t have that you need to succeed.

    • What ideas you have for initiatives. New projects, tweaks to reduce pain points, so on.

    • Things from Above that you should be aware of.


  • If you talk to people about homelessness, they will readily admit they just don’t want to see it. If go to any cheaper grocery store you definitely are rubbing shoulders with people who use foodbanks. Food insecurity doesn’t go away just because you have a roof over your head.

    The rub is a foodbank in a grocery store will attract the more visible “unreliable access to showers” type of user, which would be unacceptable.



  • Could be. Anonymize your resume and post it on programming.dev’s cscareerquestions or something if you want someone to review it. Assuming you are US based, the market is still cool so you might have to keep treading water or find something that just keeps the lights on for now.

    However, I would never assume things make any sense on the hiring side. There’s a lot of bad recruiters but there are even more bad hiring managers. Years ago as I sat on the other side of the table for the first time for a presentation and Q&A for intern candidates. When I followed up asking if any had been any offers, I was told none of them performed well enough but it was okay because turns out there wasn’t room in the budget for an intern anyway. What a colossal waste of everyone’s time.


  • I’m a similar boat. Diagnosed with ADHD recently but later in life, and it’s likely why I never settled into a single domain. I consider myself a strong software engineer but tend to fall apart in interviews, particularly with unstructured things like being asked to “tell me about yourself.” I am also planning a shift into a management role.

    My main regret in life is spending a lot of time trying to apply advice that seemed reasonable and how Other People did things. Only adopt things that work for you.

    • I highly recommend at least trying stimulants. I inadvertently self medicated with caffeine for years, which might work in a pinch. My secret sauce is frankly 90% Concerta and 10% behavior modification things like carrying a notebook around.

    • I would not mention that you have ADHD to interviewers since you can’t count on anyone to properly understand it. Showing weakness is just blood in the water. Hopefully this won’t be an issue for future generations. Yes, I am extremely bitter about this.

    • Approach this as doing whatever you have to do to get yourself over the finish line, and know that trying harder at a failed strategy never works. Don’t limit yourself to how things are supposed to be done.

    • Security requires a flexible mindset and attracts square pegs. Data centers are where all the real weirdos hang out so devops might be worth considering. I’m confident most scientists I’ve worked with have ADHD, and prototype R&D work is definitely more ADHD friendly.

    • Insist on knowing the structure and expectations of each round of an interview. I pitch this as “I need to know how I’m being evaluated so I can properly prepare and demonstrate my abilities.”

    • I’ll be honest: the interview process is mostly nonsense and should be treated as such. Anything that puts a thumb on the scale in your favor is fair game, short of unethical behavior like lying. Telling people what they want to hear is a great way to counter dumb questions.

    • I’ve built up an Obsidian ‘database’ of bullets to help during interviews, including a prepared statement of why I have it and need to have it available.

      • “Tell me about yourself”, “what type of role are you looking for”, “why do you want to shift into management” open ended questions. The key thing is respond in a coherent, organized way without showing any negativity or weakness. Yes this is ridiculous, but it’s how it is.

        • Turn your generalist background into the strength it is. I use: software engineering is a problem solving role, everything else is a means to that end. Solving problems is what I do; I’ve done so in a wide range of fields and domains and always drive them to completion. What I’m looking for is a great team to join, which is independent of industry or tech stack.
      • “Tell me about a time” behavior questions. I like the STAR format. I do well on these but need an outline to work with. Make sure it’s polished into a coherent narrative. Put an emphasis on what you did, but also how you enabled your team. Numerical data points are great if you have them

        • If the company posts their values or principles then that’s likely want they want to see out of these. Match your scenarios to the values beforehand. The idea is previous behaviors indicate future ones.
      • System design questions. I have my own checklist of questions I go through since I don’t like the popular format. I expect this is where you shine, maybe just need a bit of scaffolding to help organize your thoughts.

      • Leetcode programming tests. Like it or not, it’s part of the game.

    • If you are serious about going into management, you’ll need a prepared philosophy of how you see the role and will approach it.

      • This is also a great question to ask hiring managers. The best indicator of what the job will actually be like and you can’t wiggle out without raising red flags.
      • The two books I like are The Manager’s Path by Camille Fournier and the classic First, Break All the Rules by the Gallop folks. Again, not all advice is good so only take away what you think will work for you. Worth reading if only to understand what you should expect out of a manager.
      • Do not make the mistake of feeling like you need to go into a people management position. Shifting into project management is perfectly fine. Topping out at a senior or staff software engineer role is also perfectly fine. Frankly, topping out at a mid level engineer is fine, just watch out for ageism.
    • I also have check lists for all sorts of random things. Even dumb things like how to respond to a question I didn’t prepare for: repeat the question, write it down, jot down what I think they want to hear, write down points, and give them an order.



  • I see them as a flawed indicator of the ceiling of someone’s theoretical computer science abilities. Having worked with some brilliant people that career shifted via bootcamps, I will contend there’s value in having that foundation. I also prefer Leetcode problems over having to memorize search algorithms. But yeah, it’s not very reflective of day to day tasks even in R&D heavy projects. The most algorithm heavy thing I’ve ever done was implement Ramer–Douglas–Peucker to convert points from mouse polling into a simplified line.

    (There’s clearly a “it’s what everyone else is doing” aspect to Leetcode, on top of being very practical to run, hence I why don’t see them going anywhere. They’re also as objective as anything in an interview will ever be, so as I always say: it can be so much worse.)

    I intend to make the hacker “dive into an icky codebase armed with a stack trace and fix a bug” aspect of software development a part of my interview process; plus lean more heavily on system design questions which is where non-entry level engineers really ought to shine. The parts that worry me are the ability to create new tests as they inevitably leak, plus whether I can truly objectively evaluate someone’s performance.

    I’m curious what you include and how well it works.


  • Yeah, they kinda suck and they are brutal to go into cold. Having to grind a bunch of leetcode problems is a burden, particularly if you currently have a job and god forbid a family.

    I would still take them over the puzzle questions that used to be popular, or the personality test nonsense that dominates most fields. At least Leetcode problems are reasonably reflective of programming skill. I’ll also take them over vague open ended questions - ain’t nothing more fun than trying to ramble my way into whatever answer the interviewer is secretly looking for.

    Personally, when the day comes when I’m In Charge, I plan on experimenting with more day to day type evaluations. I think there’s potential for things like performing a mock code review or having someone plan out a sprint based on a very detailed design document. “Here’s an icky piece of code, tell me what it does and what you would do to improve it” seems to have fallen out of style, though it’s not clear to me why.

    That said, like it or not it’s how the game is played and not changing anytime soon. Get on the Grind75 train, or don’t and keep failing tech screens.


  • I’m extremely open to tech stacks and specific industries, though I would die happy if I never had to touch another line of TCL. Go to hell TCL, and take your upvar nonsense with you.

    I’m currently between jobs and planning a career shift into a software engineer manager role, so I have been thinking about this quite a bit. A job I would leave - which is really leaving a manager/team, not a company - would rate poorly on these, which I’m polishing into a new “what type of position are you looking for?” answer:

    • A team that works cooperatively, as we accomplish more together than in competition. Everyone should strive to be world class at their roles, as being around that is critical for learning from each other.
    • An environment where clear and open communication is encouraged, including whatever anyone is struggling with.
    • Work that takes on difficult problems and strives to work through them with the highest standards.
    • A position that enables me to grow down my desired career path, which as of this writing means reporting to a software manager who is willing to delegate project management tasks and eventually people management as well.

    Something I wouldn’t reveal during an interview, though critically important, is a work environment that I can arrange such that it best enables me, and not be boxed in by someone else’s conceived ideas of how software engineers should act or work. I’ve felt like a square peg in a round hole my entire life. Turns out it’s a concrete objective fact (ADHD). I am so goddamn tired of feeling bad or apologizing for things that are actually just the scaffolding that I need to survive.


  • It’s easy* to setup Hashicorp Vault with your own CA and do automated cert generation and rotation, if you are willing to integrate everything into Vault and install your root CA everywhere. (*not really harder than any other Vault setup, but yaknow). I may go down this route eventually since I don’t think a device I don’t control has ever accessed anything I selfhost, or ever will.

    I have a wildcard subdomain pointing to my public IP, and forward port 80 to an LXC container with certbot. Port 80 appears closed outside the brief window when certbot is renewing certs. Inside my network I have my PiHole configured to return the local IP for each service.

    Nothing exposed to the internet at all. There is a record of my hostnames on Let’s Encrypt but not concerned if someone will, say, deduce apollo-idrac is the iDRAC service for a Dell rackmount server called apollo and the other Greek/Roman gods are VMs on it. Seemed like a house of cards that would never work reliably, but three odd years later I only have issues if a DNS resolver insists on bypassing my PiHole. And that DNS resolver is SystemD-ResolveD which should crawl back into whatever hellhole it came out of.


  • They could hijack your site at any time, but with a copy of your live private certs they (or more likely whatever third party that will invariably breach your domain provider) can decrypt your otherwise secure traffic.

    I don’t think there’s significant real tangible risk since who cares about your private selfhosted services and I’d be more worried about the domain being hijacked, and really any sort of network breach is probably interested in finding delicious credit card numbers and passwords and crypto private keys to munch on. If someone got into my network, spying on my Jellyfin streaming isn’t what I’m going to be worried about.

    But it is why CSRs are used.


  • Buddy if you are waiting for a Sign, this is it. It’ll never get more concrete than this message I’m typing for you right now. Having a lot of doubts is common. It wasn’t truly real for me until I started medication.

    My broad advice is to find a good psychiatrist (and don’t be afraid to switch if you aren’t happy) and dig as deep as possible for evidence both for and against. Go in with confidence that you have ADHD symptoms, but keep an open mind since there are alternative explanations. A diagnosis of “no you don’t have ADHD it’s actually ____” is also important information to know, and you will regret letting it drag out if you do have ADHD.


  • I’m curious what you would change about (Western?) society to make ADHD manageable like it apparently already is in “many countries,” in concrete well defined terms. Not sure how society could negate the emotional regulation issues that frequently come with ADHD. I would also emphasize there’s a distinction between “a society where people with ADHD can function” and “a society perfectly suited for people with ADHD.”

    I’m sensing that ADHD is a label thrust upon you, and if you feel you function fine without any sort of treatment it’s probably not accurate. It’s also now occurring to me how hilariously easy it would be to troll any sort of mental health issue. Depression isn’t a disorder it’s just SADNESS coming from MODERN SOCIETY and we just need to uncheck the CAUSE DEPRESSION box in society’s configuration.


  • I’ve found the idea of LXC containers to be better than they are in practice. I’ve migrated all of my servers to Proxmox and have been trying to move various services from VMs to LXC containers and it’s been such a hassle. You should be able to directly forward disk block devices, but just could not get them to mount for an MinIO array - ended up just setting their entire contents to 100000:100000 and mounting them on the host and forwarding the mount point instead. Never managed to CAP_IPC_LOCK to work correctly for a HashiCorp Vault install. Docker in LXC has some serious pain points and feels very fragile.

    It’s damning that every time I have a problem with LXC the first search result will be a Proxmox forum topic with a Proxmox employee replying to the effect of “we recommend VMs over LXC for this use case” - Proxmox doesn’t seem to recommend LXC for anything. Proxmox + LXC is definitely better than CentOS + Podman, but my heart longs for the sheer competence of FreeBSD Jails.





  • All that makes sense. Mentoring junior engineers is something I’ve always enjoyed, though I haven’t had as many opportunities as I would like. I should mention that I don’t have a job right now. Laid off from Amazon during their big layoffs earlier this year, though there’s no way I could have been an SDM at Amazon. I would die.

    I see SDM as a combination of people management, project management, and tech leadership. The former is something I thought I could never do, but I no longer think that’s true. But I would have to grow into it. The middle I don’t see as an issue, though if you have any particular courses or books on project management I would love to hear them. The third is a nonissue, as I’ve done plenty of tech lead work. My main weakness in that area is delegating, though Amazon did help me a lot with learning how properly define and track work.

    I’m still struggling with what type of company makes the most sense. I was leaning towards more specialized SDE roles, but now I’m thinking that doesn’t matter they just need a really good SDE -> SDM pipeline. Probably larger, more established companies? I’m not sure how to break this to 18 year old me, but I’m actually considering one of the gazillion fully remote Microsoft openings.