this is a phrase I’ve started to turn around in a trans-affirming way: god doesn’t make mistakes, do you really think he couldn’t conceive of a trans person?

Ultimately, we’re discussing two different styles of communication that I don’t see as any better or worse than each other - everyone finds what works for them in their circumstances and environment and your style probably works great for yours!

There’s a fair bit of hostility and harassment I encounter in public for various reasons, and I also have some inherent difficulty processing speech and verbalizing. As a result, I take a pretty blunt approach to communication - one in which I do not mind showing that I’m angry, because that is a necessary thing to be sometimes.

I practice mindfulness a lot and do not generally feel required to say the first thing that comes to mind. But if a drunk asshole is following me home, I’m not looking to outwit em. I’m looking to stay focused on my safety while letting em know that I see em and I’m probably more trouble than they’re looking for.

In serious conversation with people I care about, I do swear, but it’s because phrases like “I’m so fucking sorry that happened to you” come naturally to me and are effective. The emphasis that a little bit of swearing can add in moments like that is pretty useful.

This all doesn’t have to be your thing, like I said this is all down to personal preference - but it would be a mistake to assume that people who swear aren’t communicating as meaningfully. It’s just another tool that we have at our disposal.

1. why is letting off steam indicative of a weak character? I think that when under stress, it’s actually indicative of someone being emotionally intelligent to recognize they need to let some stress out and find an avenue for it. I can’t explain exactly why, but swearing has always been a pretty effective way for me to let out some stress mid conversation while staying focused on a problem.

2. some contexts call for aggression. i.e. If someone’s making me or someone I care about uncomfortable in public, it can be pretty useful to bare my teeth back. A simple “fuck off” doesn’t require me to engage with any of their bullshit at all, gets the point across, and carries it with a mild aggression that actually does make people fuck off much of the time.

3. it is imprecise, but in many contexts it’s precise enough to convey displeasure and dismay enough to get the point across. In fact the power of “fuck you” is in how concise yet universally applicable and understandable in so many situations.

Much of the time communication isn’t about being creative or coming off smart. It’s about effectively conveying meaning with the tools you have. Sometimes that means simple, crude language is more effective at conveying something than all the wit in the world.

So when I’m in a situation that calls for its use, I don’t care that “fuck off” is a dime-a-dozen phrase that doesn’t make sense. It’s never misunderstood, it’s cathartic to say, and I don’t need to think on the spot to figure out something more eloquent - my mind is on, y’know, who or what needs to fuck off instead.

Especially considering a lot of the creative talent behind Valve’s acclaimed single player catalog are no longer at the company. Valve is a different company now and so their games will be different too.

That’s been my experience with GPT - every answer Is a hallucination to some extent, so nearly every answer I receive is inaccurate in some ways. However, the same applies if I was asking a human colleague unfamiliar with a particular system to help me debug something - their answers will be quite inaccurate too, but I’m not expecting them to be accurate, just to have helpful suggestions of things to try.

I still prefer the human colleague in most situations, but if that’s not possible or convenient GPT sometimes at least gets me on the right path.

Two pickup trucks

Making love

American made

Built Ford tough

Two beautiful murder machines

American angels in the sky

Grown men cry

bark-to-text, of course!

I’ve attempted to do public-facing technical support for a game and dear Christ you’re spot on. I love people for wanting to engage with something I’ve spent a substantial part of my life putting together and trying to make it run okay, and am sympathetic to people feeling frustrated when technical issues prevent them from fully enjoying an early access game. Early on when the community was small I had a great time shitposting with the players, but once we hit release the environment turned toxic pretty much overnight as the community suddenly grew.

But like, none of them know how hard we crunched to get even a playable version of the game out, nevermind one that’s playable on the lowest of netbook specs. None of em know how complicated the system is that’s breaking preventing them from logging in, that that’s not actually my area of expertise and that I’m just feeding them information from the matchmaking team who are all freaking the fuck out because this is the first time we’ve tested this shit at scale. None of them know that we were getting squeezed by our publisher, who wanted us to do a progression wipe that we didn’t want ourselves, but like they control if the game gets shipped at all so… not really a choice there. And we can’t admit any of this because accusations of incompetence come out pretty early, tend to stick around, and leave devs very little room to make bad decisions (which happens a lot!)

And like, being trans now on top of that? Hell no, I’m never touching a public server again if I can help it. Slurs and mistrust were already flying before, I can’t throw myself in front of that bus again. I’m gonna miss it because I cared a lot about connecting with people playing the game and for a while found a lot of joy in responding to bugs and fixing individual system issues and integrating into the community. And there were some amazing people who were great to talk to that I really missed when I left. But the inherent abuse that comes with that gets so overwhelming and it drained my desire to even work on games at all for quite a while.

To be fair, Bluesky does have “blocklists” maintained by other users that you can opt into, and quite a few popular ones exist with active maintainers who take and act on reports pretty quickly. So you still can delegate moderation responsibilities. One advantage to this is that you can opt into a few blocklists based on what you personally want to block - separate lists exist for hateful bigots, crypto pushers, and so on. I gave it a shot out of curiosity and haven’t run into any issues yet, but that’s just me.

I still prefer Mastodon for broader AP integration, and I think blocklists aren’t discoverable enough outside of word of mouth, but I am curious to see how that turns out for Bluesky. Certainly an improvement over Xitter imo.

It always depends but tbh I hope you feel free to use whatever terminology you find useful to describe yourself! and I think there’s no valor that can be stolen, identity is what you make for yourself. It’s always a joy to learn someone I know is queer in any form. Lots of us have had times where we’ve doubted how we describe ourselves too and gatekeeping labels doesn’t tend to help anyone. You will come across people who do here and there, I did myself, but in my super objective opinion they’re annoying, smell bad, and stifle people just trying to figure themselves out. Labels are just tools for further conversation and more people using queer labels is a good thing.

+1 to this for sure. Applies for gender identity too. Speaking just for myself, the longer it’s been since I transitioned the less my actual labeled identity has mattered, to the point that these days I just say “nonbinary” and move on. It’s what makes a lot of the “what is a woman” rhetoric baffling, given the label and definition matters so little in day to day life.

My bf comes off pretty much straight, but he describes himself as pansexual and attracted to feminine people. It’s cool to see him engage with the queer community despite being more or less able to “pass” as cishet if he wanted to, and his nebulous labeling was really helpful in settling my nerves as a newly-out trans woman. Less worrying about whether or not I was woman enough, more just hearing him say he likes me and that’s that.

Was just about to post IDLES here myself. It goes and it goes and it goes

SPD has “limited value” to the small biased sample of locals I know. They’re very unpopular in some communities, especially queer/minority communities around where these inspections took place. But as always, many others aren’t directly impacted and so they tend to be quietly neutral or supportive of the police.

I went just once in Capitol Hill, Seattle. If I was more of an extroverted type it probably could have been cool - it was a concert venue featuring a bunch of queer artists, and a lot of tents for queer community organizations - mutual aid, healthcare, counseling, etc. There’s definitely a way to make Pride useful for the community. But it’s really just bringing together a community that always existed regardless - and imo no reason to wait til June to start getting involved and organized 😁

I point conversion therapy out as an egregious example of persecution, but there’s plenty more, through a variety of avenues. Many fly under the radar as things that sound less intense - schools notifying parents if kids go by a nickname or change how they present is one that’s come up a lot lately.

From experience - lots of people thankfully have a “live our lives in peace” attitude - but unfortunately even a minority of bigots can make our lives pretty difficult and divisive. Especially if they’re allowed to do so by other people who don’t agree themselves, but also don’t fight it when they see it.

And so sure, the message has been coopted for mainstream audiences by corporations running ads like “[sterile uplifting music] at CitiBank, we think you’re people! [stock rainbow flags waving]” If you know anyone who’s queer, you know there’s real difficulty that comes with it, but also a resilient community takes care of each other the best they can. Pride ads are how most people know of us, but they’re not even close to representing us or the stakes we face. They’re pretty much entirely irrelevant to us - we never asked for them, and they certainly don’t help.

A lot more people identify with LGBT+ than there used to be, because it’s a very open label and people are more able to identify with it in accepting environments.

There’s a hell of a lot more people now who are… pretty much cishet, but maybe have some 5% attraction to the same sex, or they’re attracted to trans/nonbinary people, and so they consider themselves bisexual or pansexual, etc. when 5-10 years ago they probably wouldn’t have.

The specific number starts to mean a lot less when we remember the attitude of those people answering “do you identify with LGBT” has quickly shifted from “oh, well I’m definitely not gay!!” to “uhh sure, why not?” in a very short amount of time. I’m of the opinion this doesn’t reflect a change in our baseline behavior and is… not even consistently measurable given the diverging, shifting cultural context.

Talking in broad strokes all about balancing “freedom of identity/attraction” and “religious freedom” makes for a decent-sounding empathetic viewpoint prioritizing individual liberty. I understand where this is coming from, I don’t disagree myself, but then again who would?

And that’s why we have to get into the specifics of “forcefully spreading their belief system and values to others” because that’s what happens to queer people as status quo. We’re legally and socially discriminated out of a lot of aspects of public life and often carry deep trauma from wrath and abuse incurred on the way. Conversion therapy is still legal in many places for fucks sake! The hell is that if not forcefully spreading a belief system?

Often times, the term this is justified under is “freedom of religion” - but really it’s freedom to control and abuse others due to religious justification. The two freedoms are not equatable, therefore the balanced center between is not a neutral position.

Corporate pride advertising is super forced and very few queer people are actually on board with it. The term is “rainbow capitalism” and it’s pretty derisive. Unfortunately that’s all of what some people know of us - they don’t know us as people, as communities, just like them; they know us as a rainbow flag on a TV screen and as a Tucker/LWT/[whoever’s got opinions about us today] talk show segment, and so that’s all they think we are. Nobody likes this, queer people least of all.

semi-related tangent, I think some people misunderstand this kind of thing as “well if he was trans it would be fine.”

when really, no, a trans comedian would just write different and much better jokes about this subject matter because they’re immersed in it and have a deeper understanding of the community and the experience.

It feels like a sequel honestly. Kind of incredible how many of the core mechanics from the base game they threw out in service of telling a new story differently.