Referencing an unpopular future possibility - “that’ll go over like a turd in a punch bowl”

Describing something you don’t miss - “I miss that like I’d miss a case of the clap”

Rain coming in at a weird angle - “this rain is like a cow pissing on a flat rock”

When someone says they wish some specific thing would happen - “wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which one fills up first”

When you’re unenthusiastic about something - “I’d rather shit in my hands and clap”

• Kevin Hart -> 5’2” / 158 cm
• The Rock -> 6’4” / 193 cm
• Shaq -> 7’1” / 216 cm
• Yao Ming -> 7’6” / 229 cm

Shame that Voyager doesn’t appear to have a way to input a clean table in a comment.

I loved the Harpoon series of naval warfare simulation games. I haven’t played since the late 90s but they were a lot of fun.

Yes, it crashed Voyager for me almost instantly.

I agree on both counts

Sounds like the plot of the movie Bernie.

Like Abe Lincoln always said, take anything you see written online with a grain of salt and, until you see conclusive evidence otherwise, assume it’s a creative writing exercise.

What the fuck are you talking about? The Chinaman is not the issue here, Dude! I’m talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you do not. Also, Dude, “Chinaman” is not the preferred nomenclature. “Asian-American” please.

• Walter Sobchak

Country Cathy?

I never had a Fark account but I remember following them religiously. I remember something about them crowdfunding an arena name for a day about an unsolicited finger in the ass.

Parents: “son its ok if you’re gay, we know its hard being different in a small town like this but youre still our child and we will always love you no matter what”

Me: “mom, dad, i’m not gay.”

Mom: “really? you sure about that?”

Dad: “you’ve literally never had a girlfriend and would be the only straight guy in town who hasnt. hell even most of the gay kids have had a beard at some point.”

Me: “i’m not gay… i’m just horribly depressed and have zero self esteem.”

Mom: “shit. whoops. i suppose we better find you a therapist then.”

Me: crawls into a hole and dies of embarrassment

I disabled my account four years ago when I realized how much plague stupidity and election stupidity on there was harming my mental health.

I doubt I will ever formally delete my account, as it’s the only source for pictures of some now-deceased family members. If hell freezes over and there’s a legit unavoidable need for me to be on there, I’m using desktop+web browser only, and probably in a browser that only gets used for the monthly visit to FB.

Any idea what the other major destinations were beyond Lemmy?

What if the bird is from Jacksonville or Athens instead of Palestine? I guess we’ll never know…

I’m guessing by this time next year it’s gone.

You’re right, I got those two confused. Whoops!

Just try not to leak classified material in the forums

Fuuuuuuuuuuck that shit