Well, I know that I only work because I need money to survive. I don’t go to work to make friends, work is punishment, unnecessary and soul draining.

With that hate in mind, I have no more hate to throw to my coworkers, because it’s all directed towards the company.

That’s why I treat them neutrally or in a positive way. They are also wage slaves like I am.

This may not help at all, but I worked at a toxic workplace. I got good at recognizing when I was being manipulated. Eventually, I learned that if I hid the hurt and acted as if the jabs didn’t hurt, it would send the toxic folks into a toxic rage, but the ironic part is that they could not complain to management about me not being affected.

One day, I was called from one of the people from a recorded line (certain customer facing phones were always recorded, you could even hear the beeps). After the call, I told my manager, we went to HR, who pulled the recording and that person was moved to another area. I left shortly after for other reasons.

even if it means they have to be the ones doing most of the work, extra work they don’t receive any extra money or recognition for.

I’m not sure this is something people should strive for, to be honest.

The only way to win the game is to not play.

It sounds like you currently care more about the people at your job than your job itself. Perhaps you can tell yourself to flip that?

We are a reflection of the people around us. Maybe next time your colleagues are lazing around, instead of joining them and ignoring the work, you can join those two you admire and ignore the others?

For some of us, being treated unfairly is just another part of life we need to get used to. I’ve had to deal with this a lot with my bio family. I feel that even though it was really shitty in a lot of ways growing up, you learn to be grateful for the lessons it teaches you. The men who are being stoic are really just conserving their emotional energy in exchange for their mental and physical energy because they probably don’t have much of the former. We’ve had to learn well to compress emotions as much as possible just to live in peace. We conserve our emotional energy for the things that matter most to us and yes, it feels like shit sometimes. But it’s a familiar feeling. It makes us us.

I suspect the answer is they just don’t give a fuck. Unless it affects their job, they just don’t care.

You say the workplace is women-dominated. Are there any women not participating in the drama? Asking because you didn’t mention and, in my experience, there usually are a couple quiet no-nonsense ones. Perhaps they could be more relatable to you.

The trick I use is: I am here to exchange time for money. Whatever happens during that time, I really don’t care. The company tells me what to do during those hours and I do it to the best of my ability. Someone complains at me? I don’t care. Someone makes me do extra work? I don’t care. Someone’s having fun behind the trash compactor for the fourth time this month? I don’t care. A customer attacks me because we’re out of a particular single beer can, even though we have it in different sizes and multipacks? …ok, that one was fucking hilarious in retrospect and I’ve dined out on that story for a decade.

they’re men.

As a welder turned machinist, is it really so hard to act like an adult as an adult? I’ve seen a bunch of different shops around my area, and hands down the old heads are the worst when it comes to drama. They’re so focused on status and seniority that they forget that it’s just a job.

That being said, work how you want to work, not how you see other people working in your role. “Good enough” is fine for learning, but i want to be good at what I do, not good enough. I like my paycheck, and I like feeling like I earn it too.

I’m actually in a position where I got a raise at work and acknowledgement from my peers where I feel like I’ve been doing average work. I could take that to mean that I’m doing good enough and I can coast. That would be totally normal. But I’m looking at it as encouragement to continue to develop my craft. I tried out some shit on a lathe the other day I’ve only ever seen on crazy Instagram videos, but it worked for what I needed to do, and the part came out acceptable in the end. Now I can continue to expand my experience with confidence.

In the show Severance, you have a innie and a outtie. That’s me.

My innie is here to do the work and make money. Sometimes my innie hangs out with coworkers. Or acknowledge their major life event. But innie does marketing work and adds more garbage to the garbage pile.

My outtie has a family. He loves his family. He takes them to plays and dinners and outdoor events. He paints and watches lame TV. He tells his wife how beautiful she is, his kids how proud they make him.

Their two lives are separate. Innie is focused, driven, direct, and some what of an asshole to get the job done. Outtie is loving, spends time with his family, and paints.

Am I thick skinned? No. Innie is just willing to suck corporate dick and do a song and dance so outtie can enjoy life.

There’s two parts:

Highly valuing my professionalism and dignity is the first part. I don’t need to chase money or approval because I can always make more money, get another job, make new friends. What I can’t afford to lose is my respect for myself, my professional reputation, and the self-discipline that makes me effective at what I do.

The second part is what I’ve long called “charitable apathy”. I genuinely don’t care what others think and just try to treat them with kindness and understanding. You know, like children. Teach them if they want to learn, give them a snack if they’re grumpy, applaud their terrible art as long as it doesn’t make too much of a mess. Anyone who complains that this is condescending is exactly the kind of person most in need of your apathy and least in need of your charity.

Since this is the third or fourth post of yours in this vein, I will remind you of previous advice: Part of your job is to get along with your coworkers. It’s okay if you don’t enjoy it; nobody enjoys every part of their job. Just say “hello” and “goodbye” and “I’m getting coffee, do you want one?” and occasionally compliment their shoes or hair or whatever; it goes a long way.

Because I am completely dead inside already. My skin isn’t thick; it is simply necrotic.

Get fucked and/or fired a few times for no good reason. That hide will thicken up might fast. Forces you into a new perspective and resets some priorities.

I’ve learned that the boss can and will be a prick as he pleases (always dudes in my case). Hes going to do that and you can either fight with him and get fired or backburnered, or you can just eat shit and move on.

You can get into pissing matches with peers, but the person who wins is the person the boss likes more. If it isn’t you, accept defeat and move on.

Modern work is just the act of eating shit for money. There is no dignity, there is no payoff. You are just giving untalented clowns what they want in exchange for money. I don’t think any of us wanted it this way, but here we are.

I have fully been broken and institutionalized by the system. I have zero hope of ascending to some lofty position by virtue of my intelligence and hard work. Those who run everything pick their own. Unless you grew up with parents who run everything, there is a very low chance you ever will. They pick their own kind, anyone else is a liability.

Sounds like to me that maybe its not about how thick their skins are but about not taking the job personally. If you view a job just performing a function for money and just focus solely on the job it would look the same. Ignore other peoples drama, personalities, work ethics etc. Just do the job and focus on that ignore the drama, the gossip, and focus on doing your job well.

I manage staff and my best employees would seem stoic but really they just had focus, good work ethics, and a kind of get in and get out mentality. No gossip, no hanging out with their coworkers. Work was work then go home.