Wow they should reach out to me. Being randomly nice to people doesn’t actually give me a whole lot of social capital. Thats because it is a people pleasing behavior, and leaves one more vulnerable to social problems. I think, basically you feel you’re putting the effort in, but its spread out among many targets.
I think its a similar lack of social understanding to “nice guys” who expect you to be interested in them for their niceness. Right? And then they aren’t nice when it doesnt work. Well I am genuinely nice, but it still doesnt pay off, because being interesting to keep as company isnt just being randomly nice to people.
Thats the “nice guy” argument. Its transactional for them, not me. Im taking stock of how many people I can remember being especially randomly nice to, and wonder if I could have made a friend.
Wow they should reach out to me. Being randomly nice to people doesn’t actually give me a whole lot of social capital. Thats because it is a people pleasing behavior, and leaves one more vulnerable to social problems. I think, basically you feel you’re putting the effort in, but its spread out among many targets.
I think its a similar lack of social understanding to “nice guys” who expect you to be interested in them for their niceness. Right? And then they aren’t nice when it doesnt work. Well I am genuinely nice, but it still doesnt pay off, because being interesting to keep as company isnt just being randomly nice to people.
Viewing niceness as a transaction contradicts your claim that you are genuinely nice.
Thats the “nice guy” argument. Its transactional for them, not me. Im taking stock of how many people I can remember being especially randomly nice to, and wonder if I could have made a friend.