My 20’s are mostly a blur because I was semi bedbound because of a heart + neurological condition so I don’t even remember much of what happened. If you ask me what I remember from my 20s most of it is just vague descriptions of hospital appointments. Mentally I’d say I’m at the age I was right before I got really sick, around 20. Despite all the stress my illness caused me everyone says I look 18 or 19. When I say my age people legitimately think I’m trying to prank them. If I put my photo on a dating website along with my age people are going to assume I’m doing a bad job at catfishing. I don’t know what to do. Do I get with a 35 year old guy (which would look weird in public) or date someone a little over my perceived age?

  • Talonflame (she/her)@lemmy.cafeOPEnglish
    5·
    2 days ago

    Yeah I feel attracted to men in their early to mid twenties, but given my age I’m worried it’ll come off as predatory. It doesn’t feel like there’s up to nearly a decade of difference.

    • protist@mander.xyzEnglish
      17·
      2 days ago

      Dating someone in their 20s as a 30 year old is not predatory unless you’re preying on them (taking advantage of them by welding power over them or using their inexperience against them). It does not sound like you will be preying on them. Right now, focus on finding someone you like, their exact age doesn’t matter like you think it does.

    • BakedCatboy@lemmy.mlEnglish
      4·
      2 days ago

      Imo it’s not enough of gap to be a big deal, there are much worse age gaps, especially when you’re talking about only people above 21. I’ve often dated older and when I was in my early 20s I would go on the occasional date with someone around 30 and the biggest reaction I got from friends or people around me was light teasing, but most didn’t really care. Now that I’m 30 I don’t feel that uncomfortable dating down to around 25, but I also look young and don’t feel like I’ve matured that much since my 20s.

      I don’t think most people would care at the end of the day, I feel like it only becomes weird when you’re like in your 40s dating down to 20 something.

    • angrystego@lemmy.world
      1·
      2 days ago

      So it’s more like you’re into someone younger and you want to ask if it’s ok to date them? That depends on other circumstances, not just the age.