My 20’s are mostly a blur because I was semi bedbound because of a heart + neurological condition so I don’t even remember much of what happened. If you ask me what I remember from my 20s most of it is just vague descriptions of hospital appointments. Mentally I’d say I’m at the age I was right before I got really sick, around 20. Despite all the stress my illness caused me everyone says I look 18 or 19. When I say my age people legitimately think I’m trying to prank them. If I put my photo on a dating website along with my age people are going to assume I’m doing a bad job at catfishing. I don’t know what to do. Do I get with a 35 year old guy (which would look weird in public) or date someone a little over my perceived age?
Worry less about your age, their age and what people think. Focus more on what will make you happy. If you feel like dating someone in their early 20s is not predatory, then go for it. Remember, some 20 year olds will be less mature, too.
Yeah I feel attracted to men in their early to mid twenties, but given my age I’m worried it’ll come off as predatory. It doesn’t feel like there’s up to nearly a decade of difference.
Dating someone in their 20s as a 30 year old is not predatory unless you’re preying on them (taking advantage of them by welding power over them or using their inexperience against them). It does not sound like you will be preying on them. Right now, focus on finding someone you like, their exact age doesn’t matter like you think it does.
Imo it’s not enough of gap to be a big deal, there are much worse age gaps, especially when you’re talking about only people above 21. I’ve often dated older and when I was in my early 20s I would go on the occasional date with someone around 30 and the biggest reaction I got from friends or people around me was light teasing, but most didn’t really care. Now that I’m 30 I don’t feel that uncomfortable dating down to around 25, but I also look young and don’t feel like I’ve matured that much since my 20s.
I don’t think most people would care at the end of the day, I feel like it only becomes weird when you’re like in your 40s dating down to 20 something.
So it’s more like you’re into someone younger and you want to ask if it’s ok to date them? That depends on other circumstances, not just the age.
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Most 20 year olds are less mature, not some. It’s predatory.
OP specified that, due to mental haze in their 20s related to their health issues, they mentally feel closer to 20.
Most 20 year olds are less mature than a 30 yo. What I mean is that some 20 yo are less mature than a typical 20 yo. Some are more mature.
Op could be predatory, but it’s not predatory by virtue of age alone. there is also a big difference with, say, an 18yo. Or conversely a 23 yo. After 20, a 10 year gap is no big deal.
There are predatory relationships at all ages. From OPs description, this is not the relationship type they are looking for, as they themselves feel less mature. I’d say 25 to 18 is worse than 30 to 20. It’s not the age gap that matters but the maturity difference and power imbalance.
In context, I suspect they meant to say some 30 year olds will be less mature, rather than saying look at a less mature age group, then go even lower